Because he is a man.

It’s way past our bed time but we are too alert to think of sleeping. Our minds and hearts, have been entangled in the surreal love that promises to exist only in the Disney world. An approaching sound interrupts us. And we both stop and close our eyes. I listen, every new step is louder than the last one. And I recognize his footsteps almost too quickly. I wonder where he has been. What he heard there, and who again has fed his mind. The disturbing sound of his shoes, unquestionably from Aba eventually seize. And just as I am about to reopen my tightly shut eyes, they begin again, this time drawing nearer, faster by the second. He calls my name, and I can certainly feel his presence at the door. I want him to go away, so I don’t answer. Disgruntled, he hisses and shuts my door. Only he has the right to do that. I own no room in his house to be shutting doors by myself.

Sharon giggles, nudging me to keep on reading. As soon as I am about to open the Frog and the princess book, right at that part, where the Frog turns into a Prince. He dashes into my room, flinging the door open. His eyes are red, wide and threatening. And even from my bed I can tell that he is drunk. 

“Come out you two! Stand up from there!”  He yells.            

It takes our brains too long to process this information. So we are staring bewildered at him. When he leaves quickly, we follow him out confusedly. He leads us to our mother who is asleep and then he gives her a rude awakening.

 “What are you teaching this idiots? I come home but there is no one to greet me.”

Now I don’t know who is more confused us or her?

“Welcome.” She fully awakes and greets.

“See them, look at what they are wearing to sleep. Does no one here have sense?”

Resignedly she says to us, “Go change into your nightwear.”

“Look at you, you call yourself a mother!” he barks.

By the time the quarrel which ensues is over. It’s past midnight. He literally stops when he is tired and wants to retire. The next morning he does the barest minimum and complains of everyone else’s efforts. Then he sends us off to school, with hopes of bringing out the best in us, when really he has relieved us of our better parts.

I know that it is because he is a man that he gets away with most things. Like being a lousy Father, drinking alcohol way past his tolerance, and speaking so loudly to us he instructs fear instead of love and respect. A thousand others cowardly blame it on his biological make up. They say Mother has oxytocin, and no matter what she is going to love us. While Father has something different.  Something that fuels his pride and makes him promiscuous. Something in him that makes him want to fight those he ought to be protecting. That thing that makes him a "man". So don’t blame him. For it’s in his nature that he teaches sons to be just like him; not weaklings but fighters in their own homes. Don’t mind him if he silences daughters in public lest they bring him shame. I also know that he works hard. But because he is a man, he believes strongly that his work cannot be done by anyone else but him.